Ascendance - A Romance (Part 1)

I really don?t know how it happened. There were moments when my thoughts were icy clear and I knew exactly what I should say, but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. Instead I went along, I complied. Mona would say she simply opened a door and I walked through. But into what? I felt . . . I felt . . .. I don?t know what I felt. Mona would say I felt free. And therein lies a tale. I?m just an average guy, a 36-year-old working in marketing for a large software company. And I?m as straight as the railway tracks that run behind my office. Oh yeah, I?m divorced, but that?s no shocker these days. My wife and I split after nine years of semi-bliss. We just drifted apart, started to want different things. Kids for one; she yes, me no. The silences became the longest conversations we had. But sex was never our problem. We were always pretty good at that. Oh, there were times I wish she?d been more assertive, but I didn?t complain. Once she got warmed up she was pretty randy. She even surprised me a few times with a kinky move or two; dancing finger, she called it. Yeah, the sex was good, until it petered out. One day she came home from work and told me she?d taken a job back east. It was painless and friendly after that. She moved out; I kept the apartment. Divorce papers ultimately came in the mail, and I signed them and sent them back. I?ve dated a bunch of women since then. But none of them have commandeered my heart, so to speak, and the sex has been limp, as if the people fucking were simply following the steps in a time-honored formula that put a premium on speed and efficiency. And that brings me to Mona, and to last night. Last night. My god, last night. I was at a house-warming party at my friend Phil?s apartment. Phil was new to the job and had been assigned to my project team. I didn?t know him very well and I didn?t know anyone at the party. I was wandering around nursing a beer, had a few aborted conversations with some guys who wanted to talk about the stock market and some girls who, apparently, didn?t want to talk at all - at least not to me. I had just popped the top on a new one when I saw Mona across the room. She struck me at first because she was clearly older than most of the people there, probably a good 10 to 15 years older than me as it turned out. She was a friend of Phil?s older sister and the only person he knew when he first came to town. She wasn?t beautiful but she was decidedly striking; hell, she was hot. She just looked like someone who knew what she was doing. She had a short almost sculpted haircut with sharp edges that drew almanbahis your gaze right down the line to her eyes. Her features were a little sharp but they went well together and added up to something special. She was tough and sexy. I?ve always had a thing for older women. Well, a fantasy anyway. I stared at her longer than I realized, not even really aware I was doing it. I continued to walk around the room but didn?t try to talk to anybody, and nobody tried to talk to me. I was wondering if I was invisible. It pissed me off a little, but I didn?t know how to interject myself into this world of strangers: pompous men and superior women. I?d had enough and had gotten my coat from the bedroom and was heading for the door when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw Mona up close, looking right at me. Invading personal space wasn?t an issue for her, I guess. ?Don?t leave,? she said. ?It?s early, and you shouldn?t give up so easily. Come talk to me. I saw you staring at me with that hang-dog look and I want to see if I can make you feel better.? She put a finger under my chin and lifted my head up. ?Come now,? she said. She took my hand and led me to a love seat in the corner of the living room where we could have a little privacy. ?What?s your name?? she asked. ?Call me Ishmael,? I said, trying to be clever. ?Cute.? she said. ?I?m Mona. I think I?ll call you Ishy.? She fired off a bunch of questions and pretty soon had a capsule biography of my whole life, from only child to middling underachiever in high school to divorced marketing specialist for a business-intelligence software product that was going nowhere. It didn?t feel like an inquisition at the time; in fact, I was happy to keep answering. Facts are easy when you don?t really know what to say. And she never took her eyes off me the whole time. Mine kept darting around the room, from people I could care less about to the soft, creamy pearls on her necklace. After 30 minutes or so I said, ?Look, this has been nice but I?ve got go. It?s getting late and I have work tomorrow.? ?Not yet,? she said. ?Let?s get out of here. Come to my place for a drink. I only live a few blocks away.? Without waiting for me to answer she stood up and said, ?I?m going to get my coat, meet me at the elevator.? We walked briskly to her building, not talking at all. About halfway there she put her arm around my shoulder and kept it there all the way home, as if guiding a wayward child through the dark forest at night. She lived in an old three-story brownstone from the 40s, a beautiful old building that looked painstakingly almanbahis yeni giriş restored. She unlocked the door and I followed her into the living room. The furnishings were tastefully simple and unostentatious. The only thing that really caught my eye was a large, old easy chair with thick pillows and overstuffed arms. Most of the furniture looked comfortably used, but the chair appeared to have been recently reupholstered. It stuck out a little bit. No big deal. She took my coat and hung it on a rack along with hers. ?Have a seat on the couch,? she said. ?Would you like a drink? White wine okay?? And she was off without waiting for an answer. I sat on the couch and wondered if I was going to get lucky tonight. Mona was certainly attractive and she was obviously a woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. And now she apparently wanted me. Better to let her make the first move, I thought. She came back and sat down next to me, holding a single glass of wine. ?None for me?? I asked. ?Oh, I thought you said you didn?t want any. I?m sorry.? But she made no move to get up and get me a glass. She just started asking questions again. How many women had I gone out with since my divorce? Was there anyone serious? Was I unhappy? Lonely? I answered her questions. I figured she was heading somewhere, and I?d just wait and see where. We?d already done all the polite conversation. She sat back and crossed her legs. ?Stand up, she said.? What? That seemed a little odd. Maybe it?s her special seduction ritual. I?ll play along. I stood up. ?Go over to that chair across the room,? she said. ?Get completely undressed, fold your clothes neatly, and put them on the chair.? ?What the fuck,? I said. ?Are you nuts? You expect me to strip just because you tell me to?? ?Yes,? she said, matter-of-factly and paused for a few seconds. ?Why wouldn?t you? Look, there?s the door. If you don?t want to be here all you have to do is walk over there, grab your coat and leave. We never have to see each other again.? I was dumbfounded. This classy lady I?d met only two hours ago had brought me to her home, sat there sipping a glass of wine, and told me to strip naked. ?It?s a simple choice, what?ll it be? Leave or do what I tell you.? I walked across the room unbuttoning my shirt. And I didn?t know why I was doing it. I?m not sure I wanted to know. Even now I?m still not sure I want to know. So there I was standing buck naked in Mona?s living room, covering my cock and balls with my hands in a conventionally silly attempt at modesty. ?Come over here and stand in almanbahis giriş front of me,? she said, ?and stop covering up for heaven?s sake, you look ridiculous.? I walked back over to her, letting my arms fall to my sides. ?Turn around slowly so I can look at you. Cute ass,? she said. ?I like that.? When I was facing her again she sat there for a few moments sipping her wine and looking at me, her eyes moving ever so slightly up and down in appraisal. I was looking at the floor, trying to figure out what was going on and what the hell I was doing. ?Not the most impressive cock I?ve ever seen,? she said. ?But I don?t care. You are good looking enough and you obviously take care of your body. But you don?t have an erection. Why not? Poor guy, are you nervous? No need to be. Play with yourself and get it hard for me.? You have got to be fucking kidding me, I thought to myself. But without thinking I began to stroke my cock slowly up and down. ?Look at me while you?re playing with yourself,? she said. ?I want you looking at me.? And I raised my head and looked right at her while masturbating, and in a minute or two I had a good hard-on. ?Easy,? she said. ?Slow down. I don?t want you to come.? I slowed down, barely moving my hand but not stopping completely. ?Very good,? she said. ?When was the last time you had an erection that hard?? And I realized she was right. My erection was so hard it almost hurt. I couldn?t remember the last time I had one like that. One more touch and my cock would explode. Mona looked at me and smiled. ?Tell me how you feel this very second. How does it feel to be standing naked and masturbating before a strange, fully clothed woman? And think before you answer.? ?I . . . I?m not sure,? I said. ?Exposed,? maybe. I realized I was close to tears. ?I don?t know how I feel.? ?Yes you do. It might be confusing, but you do know. Oh, I?m sure you?re embarrassed. And maybe you even feel a little degraded in some self-dramatizing way. That?s only natural and it will pass. But if you brush all that superficial stuff aside and look deeper, here?s what I think you?ll find. You feel found out. Discovered. And a little relieved, as if a weight has been taken away.? I started to protest, to tell her she was a lunatic, but she held up her hand. ?No, don?t say anything.? And then the front door opened. A beautiful woman with long dark hair walked in. Without breaking a stride she took off her coat, threw it on the floor and plopped down on the couch next to Mona. ?What the fuck,? I shouted, and covered my cock and balls with both hands. ?Don?t cover yourself,? Mona snapped. ?I didn?t tell you to stop. Keep playing with yourself.? Amazingly, I did what she said. ?This is Carole, my lover. I called her right before we left the party and told her to come over. I knew she?d want to meet you.