Cocklust Ch. 14

That week, we put our other sex toys to good use. Chad was partial to the anal wand; he made me fuck him with it a half-dozen times, in a half-dozen different ways. Personally, I was more into masturbators myself, especially when used in conjunction with a cock ring.

We both liked the dildos, which were still getting plenty of action. We especially liked to do what we called an instant flip: I would bottom for Chad while at the same time fucking him with his dildo, or vice versa. It was pretty hot to think we could each have the other's dick inside of us at once.

Chad also stopped wearing underwear, and he started wearing a jockstrap instead. Nobody knew about it but me, yet he wore it all over campus. It got me hard just thinking about it: I loved knowing that his butt was freely bouncing around in his pants, while his package was safely secured.

Of course, when we were alone, I took fiendish delight in peeling his clothes off. The strap looked particularly sexy when it was the only thing he was still wearing. I especially loved being able to fuck him with the strap still in place.

By that point we were practically inseparable, even more so than before. Since I had access to his place? in the form of the frat house? I knew it was high time he had access to mine. So I gave him my spare key, and he immediately put it to good use. He brought an extra toothbrush that night, and over the course of that week, he brought over more and more of his stuff. By the weekend, he had so much stuff at my place that there were was no more walk of shame.

That was also when Chad started growing out his beard. I didn't like it at first, because the longer his stubble got, the itchier it was. I actually avoided kissing him for a while, at least on the lips. But once his beard filled in, the itchiness went away, and I found I really liked it. It made him look that much more manly, which was especially hot when he was getting pounded.

With each day that went by, I learned new things about him, like the fact that he was farsighted. He could usually get by without glasses, but he did wear them if he had to stare at a screen for long hours. His glasses were designer, so they made him look cute and sophisticated. I asked him to wear them more often, but he wouldn't.

Some of his quirks did exasperate me. Whenever he came home? either to his place or mine? he'd drop his stuff in the middle of the floor, where I'd always trip over it. He was totally disorganized too, so even if he just needed a pencil, he'd need to go hunting for one. He spent so much time rummaging through his things that I wondered how he ever got anything done.

At the same time, some of my own habits drove him nuts too. Apparently I bit down on my fork when I ate. No one had ever complained to me about that, but Chad kept bringing it up, so I started getting self-conscious.

"Just use your my lips," he said at lunch one day, "not your teeth. Like you're giving a blowjob."

"That's a helluva way to put it," I said.

"Here, let me show you." Then he climbed under my table, pulled down my pants, and wrapped his mouth around my pole.

"Oh shit," I said. I could hardly see what Chad was doing, but I sure as hell could feel it. He was an expert at using the soft parts of his mouth: he ran his tongue around my cockhead, and he slid his lips down my shaft. Then he started bobbing up and down, and he sucked me as hard as he could.

"Mm," he said between slurps. Then he took his mouth off me and started jerking me off. "God, I love this. You've got the hottest fucking dick...."

"More like the hottest fucking boyfriend," I said.

Chad seemed to love when I talked to him that way. He went right back to sucking my cock; he stroked the base of my shaft with one hand, and he played with my balls with the other. His grip was strong enough to feel manly, yet tender enough to be pleasurable? which was exactly how I wanted it.

"Baby," I said, "I'm getting close."

Chad didn't miss a beat. He kept right on sucking like his life depended on it. I felt his tongue against my pee hole, and at that point I couldn't hold back.

"Oh shit!" I gasped as I busted in his mouth.

Chad kept going till my dick finished shooting. Then I felt his throat contract as he swallowed. He kept stroking himself as he did it, and I could tell he was about to bust himself.

I didn't want Chad's load to go to waste, so I joined him under the table, and I put my mouth on his cock. It only took a few seconds before he let off a grunt. The next thing I knew, I had a mouthful of sperm.

"Oh fuck yeah," he said as his orgasm died down. Then he finally let out a deep breath.

I gulped down his cum, then moved up to his face, and I gave him a salty kiss. "Did I pass the test?" I asked.

"What test?"

"About not using my teeth."

"Oh. That." He grinned. "You got me distracted."

"I didn't hear you complain."

"That's because I didn't," he said as he gave me one last kiss.

I'd istanbul escort assumed our coming out was behind us, but it turned out it wasn't. I'd never noticed how many people assumed we were straight. We kept getting asked about girls, often in passing, from people who didn't have a clue. A couple of dudes found out we were Kap Eps, and they immediately asked us which sororities were hottest, and what the girls were like in bed. One professor even said something in class; she asked a few girls about their boyfriends, and boys about their girlfriends, without giving it a second thought.

I didn't usually say anything, but that only made the awkwardness worse, since it made me feel like I was back in the closet. The alternative was to keep coming out over and over again, like I was caught in Groundhog Day or something.

One night I was writing a paper when my phone rang. I assumed it was Chad, so I answered the phone without checking the caller ID. "Hey," was the only thing I said.

A split second later, I realized it was my ex. "What is this I hear about you being gay?"

I was tongue-tied for a second, but then I forced out some words. "I-I dunno," I said. "I mean, who the hell told you that?"

"Fucking Kevin," she said, "who heard it from your mom."

I gritted my teeth. I'd never given Mom permission to tell anyone. "What the hell?"

"'What the hell' is right," Erica said. "She ran into him at the grocery store, and he asked what you were up to, that's the answer he gets?"

"Oh for shit's sake?"

"Are you trying to deny it?"

I paused. "Well no?"

"Is that why you broke up with me?"

"No," I said. "Back then I didn't know."

"How could you not know? I always knew I was attracted to guys?"

"It's not that simple."

"Were you thinking of guys when you were having sex with me?"

I debated how to answer. I had to admit I'd fantasized a little, not about gay sex per se, but definitely about orgies and stuff. The more I looked back on it, the more obvious it was that sex with her had never been that great. But I bit my lip.

"Okay," she said before I'd had a chance to respond. "That's all I needed to know."

"Now listen?"

"You broke my heart, you asshole!" She was half-crying, half-yelling through the phone. "I wasted three years of my life on you! I swore I was going to get married to you, and have kids and everything?"

"Wait a minute. When did I ever agree to that?"

"Junior prom," she said. "Remember how you took me out to the river?"

"I didn't exactly propose to you."

"You sure as hell made it sound like we had a future. You were talking a big game about being a hotshot lawyer?"

"Uh yeah, about that?"

"Now my mom is sick, probably dying, and the man I loved is gay."

"Wait a minute?"

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"Look," I said. "I'm sorry about your mom."

"No you're not," she said. "You just want one more excuse to kick me while I'm down."

"Kick you while you're down?" I said. "I didn't choose to be gay. Not that I'm complaining or whatever, it's just... well, if I had to do it over again, I would've started dating guys in high school, which would've saved you the trouble. But you know what? I can't undo that shit, and neither can you."

Erica was silent for a moment. Then she cleared her throat. "I really cared about you," she said. "I even told Amy, the last time I saw her, I hoped we could figure things out?"

"Oh God," I said. "Is that seriously what you talked about? At Rosie's wedding?"

"Yeah. How'd you know about that?"

"It was all over my Facebook. Between Amy and Kevin and Johan?"

"You talk to Johan now? I thought you hated the guy."

Aw shit, I thought. I knew I'd said too much, but I tried to play it down. "He sent me a friend request," I said. "I figured what the hell."

"You know he's a cokehead now too?"

"Cokehead?"

"Yeah. He was acting all weird at the reception. He was sweaty and jittery, and I saw white stuff on his nose."

I frowned. I didn't know what to make of that. I was tempted to call Johan about it, but I wasn't sure if I should. I just knew I needed to change the subject. "Sounds like that was a hell of a wedding."

"Yeah," she said, "that's one way of putting it."

"Anyway, I don't really know what to tell you," I said. "I mean... it wasn't easy for me to admit I was gay. But I got to be good with it, and you're gonna have to be too."

"Can you still say you loved me?"

"Erica, don't do this."

"Do what?"

"I have a boyfriend," I said. "You need to respect that."

"Is he anything like me?"

I debated how to answer. "Don't go there," I eventually said. "It wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"I still care about you, Scott. Even though we're not together anymore."

"I know that," I said. "And I care about you too. But you and I are never going to work out. So you're best off moving on." I felt bad even rus escort as I said it, but I knew it was true? and I knew there was nothing to be gained from beating around the bush.

Erica was silent at first. At first I thought we'd gotten cut off, but then I heard her let out a sigh.

"Listen, I gotta go," I said. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"O-okay...."

"I hope your mom is all right... say hi to her, all right?"

"All right, thanks," she said, and then she hung up.

By then, my stomach was in knots. Her call seemed to have gotten under my skin in more ways than one. I wanted to talk to Chad, but I didn't know how to broach the topic, especially the part about Johan.

I didn't want to call Johan directly, so instead I checked his social media. I looked for any sign that he might be in trouble, but he hadn't posted much. Of course, I also knew he went on gay websites, so I also looked for him there. I felt like a bit of a troll, but I couldn't think of a better way to do this.

I ended up finding him on Vitruvian Men. He was still calling himself YoDude, and he was using the picture I remembered from Grindr. According to his profile page, he'd been using their forums for years, yet he only had a handful of posts. The most recent one was just entitled "Why":

I must be a lost cause. Why is it so fucking hard to meet guys? I'm lonely as fuck but all I can find is a meat market, and I only seem 2 attract assholes. i can never get someone i like to like me back. every guy I want to go for stops talking to me after they get to know me and won't even acknowledge my existence. I've gotten so paranoid about being abandoned that I am afraid to meet new people and then I fall into an awful cycle of self-hate.

I did hook up a couple times w/a dude I thought I liked. I actually knew him years ago, then found him on Grindr when he needed a quick fuck. I really liked it and wanted to keep doing it. I thought we could be bf's, but apparently now hes got a bf of his own